A new, unique service:

Perfect The First 10 Pages Of Your Screenplay

For Only $59

Word-by-word proofreading plus notes as needed on screenplay structure, the story,  characters, and dialogue in the first 10 pages of your screenplay.


“But why just the first 10 pages?  What’s so vital about them?”

Here’s Why and What:


Certain elements should be present in the first 10 pages in most scripts.

Readers for producers stop reading and pass on a script if the first 10 pages are flawed.

Sometimes, they quit after the first five pages.  Or even on page one.

Contests won’t admit this, but their judges, too, might stop reading early if the opening has flaws.

It’s a hard fact that the first 10 pages of your script are the most vital.

Producers, too.  A while back, I surveyed and interviewed producers for a book on what they see as the writing mistakes aspiring screenwriters make.  Three issues stood out in their comments: mediocre openings, grammar/spelling, and the lack of an “it” factor.


Experience with 150+ client screenplays tells me:

Many screenwriters need story and structure notes, either at an early stage before a script is ready for final polishing, or on a script that is polished.  That draft you think of as “final,” because you worked on it so diligently, might be missing some of those crucial first-10-pages elements.

Also, just a bit of early proofreading can also help a writer who is struggling with style, grammar, spelling, or formatting issues, or writing scene descriptions that cannot be seen or heard by the audience.



Here’s what I can do with your first 10 pages to help you get past the first-round judge or persuade the reader to show the script to the producer:


1. Line-by-line proofreading:

I will make sure your first 10 pages are free of grammar and spelling errors and basic formatting errors.


2. Basic “must have” elements and basic “must not have” mistakes:

Certain things ought to happen within the first 10 pages to get past most readers and first-round contest judges. I’ll check not only to see that they are there, but that they are written clearly and vividly.

Certain other elements should not be in the first 10 pages.

I learned how emphatic readers are about these elements and mistakes while running 10 screenplay contests. I read thousands of comments by my judges and saw exactly what caused them to stop reading.  Most of my judges were readers for Hollywood producers and agents.


3. Tone: that vital consistency of atmosphere and feeling

For example, recently I provided notes on a client’s serious dramatic screenplay.  Suddenly, I came upon a scene in which two middle-aged women shared a gleefully guilty giggle over shopping — as if they were characters in a ‘60s domestic comedy.

It departed sharply from the overall tone.

If I see that sort of departure in your first 10 pages, I’ll note it.


4. The “it” factor:

“It” is that something which makes some screenplays unique and marketable.  “It” sets stories apart.

What is “it”?  It might be the “Wow!” in the action.  It might be the pizzazz in the dialogue.  It might be the way a main character’s plight touches the heart.  It might be her or his extraordinary courage. “It” is that something that makes us want to see this particular story on screen. 

If you want your story to win a contest or sell, you need an “it” factor in the first 10 pages. I’ll tell you whether I see “it,” and maybe even come up with an idea or two.


10% Off Proofreading And Notes On Your Full Screenplay:

If you buy this service and then you want my full screenplay proofreading and notes service for the rest of the screenplay or for your rewrite of the entire screenplay, I’ll take 10% off the price per page for those remaining pages or the entire rewritten screenplay.


“Is This Bill Donovan fellow any good at this?”  

“Is he worth my money?”

Please see my screenplay client testimonials






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“We are such stuff as dreams are made on”
(Shakespeare, “The Tempest”)



Do your first 10 pages have “it”?  That stardust quality?